Chapter 2: Five-Date Rule

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Hooking up early and often leads to more hooking up early and often.  How do you break the cycle?  There are a lot of urban legends, if you will, that have to do with properly navigating the rough dating waters.  There’s the “day rule”, where you wait a day before you call someone you just met.  There’s the “let them …

The Superficial Gay: Chapter 1

Elements of D8ing COVER

What are the driving forces in attraction? What is it about someone that makes them irresistibly hot while others aren’t even moderately warm? More importantly, what is it about YOU that attracts you to certain people, while for others you couldn’t even pick them out of a police line-up? Ultimately, what makes you want to jump into bed with the …

I Would Rather Date Someone That’s HIV+

HIV Equal

Yes, I am very serious about this statement: I would rather date someone that is HIV positive. My reasoning for this is simple!  My most incredible and impactful relationship was with someone who was HIV positive.  I fell in love with one of the sweetest, sexiest, caring, genuine, and fun loving person I’ve ever met.  He told me about his …


Better Sex Vs. Real Love

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So, of all the issues we come across at the D8able office, a lot of them are based on high sexual expectations or ridiculous standards for sex. Our clients that come in voiced these expectations as one of their top reasons for not sticking it out in a relationship. We keep talking about the dating checklist and what we want vs. …


The Him You Want Vs. The Him You Get

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Paradox of Choice Pt 2 We have it all planned out. We know what he looks like, his build, his penis size and maybe even the way he smells. We also have his ideal credit score and salary in mind, but is that what we really get? Is that really what we even want? I know most of us think …


New Year, New Behavior

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“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein   I started with a quote on insanity just to remind people, if it’s not working for you and year after year you continue to behave the same way, your Insane. So, how about this for a resolution… Be committed to learning and exploring …

I’m 30+, am I too old for that?

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I have sat in deep thought very recently trying to figure out the psychology of the Big City Gay and what it means. From that I decided to create a series, because getting all of this in one column just isn’t possible. Let’s start with questions. 1. Is it ok to be 30 something and not to have your life figured …


The Paradox of Choice

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Living in a city like New York or any large city I would assume,  everyone in the dating scene will always have the same concerns – Being an option.  Being an option is when you meet someone and begin the process of getting to know them, but as things begin to develop you learn what’s really going on. You come …


Your Celebrity Crush: Being In Love With The Idea


Michael B. Jordan is sexy as hell right? Of course he is.  When I ask who a person’s celebrity crush is, more often than not the response is either Michael B. Jordan, Channing Tatum, John Legend or someone similar. Occasionally, I get rappers such as The Game from those who prefer a guy with a little more edge. The real …