Yes, I am very serious about this statement: I would rather date someone that is HIV positive.
My reasoning for this is simple! My most incredible and impactful relationship was with someone who was HIV positive. I fell in love with one of the sweetest, sexiest, caring, genuine, and fun loving person I’ve ever met. He told me about his HIV status before we decided to get into a monogamous relationship. We were dating for almost 2 months before he told me about his status and we didn’t engage in sex prior to that conversation. I really wasn’t educated on HIV much, but at that moment at the restaurant where he told me about his status, I honestly didn’t care that he had HIV because within the 2 months we were dating, I got to know him and I really appreciated and admired his character, his personality, his ambition level, and his values. Those were the attributes that I was looking for in partner.
I was also happy to see that he really took care of himself and his health. He explained to me that because of his status, he didn’t sleep around and he was very serious about his life and health. He taught me things about HIV that I had no clue about due to my own ignorance. I previously always thought you shouldn’t sleep with or date someone who was positive. During my teenage and college years, all I heard in school among my peers were negative and horrible things about HIV and how you should steer clear from people who have it. This of course is wrong and inaccurate in so many ways.
I’m not saying that I couldn’t find someone who was HIV negative with these attributes, but instead I am highlighting the fact that you may be missing out on a great relationship or soulmate, because you refuse to date someone who is HIV positive. With the statistics out today, you have probably already slept with or dated someone who is positive but they didn’t share that information with you.
It worries me that some of our clients come into our office and state that they would not date someone who is HIV positive. Even with the better medication out there for those who are positive, as well as PrEP for those who are negative, some people still will not consider it.
Our Advice: Educate yourself on HIV and learn what it really means to be HIV positive. Also inform yourself on how an HIV negative person can actually date and have sexual intercourse with an HIV positive person and still remain negative. If not, you may miss out on the person who could be the one for you.