The Him You Want Vs. The Him You Get

Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 1.13.02 PM

Paradox of Choice Pt 2

We have it all planned out. We know what he looks like, his build, his penis size and maybe even the way he smells. We also have his ideal credit score and salary in mind, but is that what we really get? Is that really what we even want?

I know most of us think that dating should be like taking applications or should be like shopping for clothes, but what happened to the overall outline of getting to know someone? How about focusing on their interests and how they compare to yours instead. You should take the time to actually build a foundation with someone.

Living in a big city, it is understood that there are a great deal of choices that we have and with those choices come a great deal of excuses.  Excuses such as:

  1. I’m focusing on my career right now
  2. I’m still new to the city
  3. I’m not over my ex
  4. I’m too busy
  5. I’m too picky
  6. The good one’s are straight
  7. There aren’t any good ones
  8. I’m focusing on myself (ha!)
  9. You’re not my type
  10. I’m not ready to date
  11. The right one hasn’t come yet
  12. I’m a workaholic and i’m not willing to settle

I could honestly keep going, but these are the main excuses you give the “good guys”. The ones who are marriage material, have a career, and know what they want, but still aren’t the ‘Him’ you desire.  Why is that?  Why do we want something that isn’t good for us?

We see guy A, he has a great job, very family oriented, educated, attractive, has a classic style, speaks a couple languages, dates one guy at a time, with an average body.  Guy A is also someone that you can talk to about anything, laugh with and you know is in your corner.  Now guy B has “swag”, thousands of followers or friends on social media, goes out with his friends during the week and every weekend, excessively smokes and is in the gym like crazy (self focused).  Guy B has never been in a relationship and doesn’t seem to want to focus on you, because he knows there are still a great deal of people to meet, but he likes you.


                    Guy A                                                     Guy B
Screen Shot 2016-01-11 at 10.25.26 AM                          1971ec38c39af448e984915216dfac72                 


So which one would you choose?  Now, I’m sure Guy B is everyone’s “type,” but can guy B give you what you need?

Today, it is important that we balance it out, the needs vs. the wants, the desire vs. the overall goal.  Yeah, the hard body and “swag” are nice to have, but he isn’t for the long run.  It is our job to select that mate that we can spend the rest of our lives with and potentially have a family with- not just the guy that knows what he is doing in the bed or who looks pretty on your arm at the club or around your friends.

I challenge all of you to step outside of your comfort zone and get to know someone that isn’t in the realm of your type.  I strongly believe that there is someone out there for us all, BUT we need to get out of our own ways in order to find him.


To Be Continued! – Again ☺

Comments 5

  1. Mr. Courtney Calhoun

    Neither one….. I am centered on becoming Guy A. Currently, I am professional person who is a whore. Until I fix my self worth there is no reason to pursue anyone for a relationship.

  2. francis

    that’s true boss but if u get a rich guy to miss use you ? money is not every thing dear. In my case if I get some one to offer me a good job I don’t care of his look but I can give in . why not

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *